‘Until recently, I could eat 50 doughnuts a day and not put on any weight’
I try not to look too hard in the mirror. If I do, I’m vaguely happy with what I see. I’m 47 and my hair is greyer than it used to be, but that’s what 25 years in the BBC does to you, all those early mornings and late nights. I’d like to be more toned, but the joy of radio is it’s not too tyrannical about appearance. I’m not too self-conscious about appearing on TV, either. I don’t have any complaints. I quite like the shape of my face and nose – they’re quite angular, which is fine by me.
It was a different story when I was a teenager. By 14, I was 6ft 3in and skinny. I looked like Peter Crouch. I was very conscious of how I looked and unhappy about being so gangly. Words like scrawny and lanky all applied to me. Now those things are good; they’ve translated into tall, thin, with a fast metabolism – until recently, I could eat 50 doughnuts a day and not put on any weight. I have to be more careful about what I eat now. I don’t smoke – I’ve had three cigarettes in my life, just to show off. I don’t drink much, either. I hope I’ll be like my dad. He’s 73 and in great shape with a great brain; he eats well and never has seconds.
I’ve invented something called the C diet, which means not eating anything beginning with “c”. Crisps, chips, curry, Coke, cookies, cheese, cream – all the bad things begin with c. It’s a very simple rule, except you run into trouble with cabbage. I’m not sure why I haven’t lost weight on it yet, but I’m still hoping.
• It’s All News To Me, by Jeremy Vine, is out now in hardback (Simon & Schuster). He will be appearing at Edinburgh International Book Fair on 23 August.